A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
Time Out New York Project: Issue #836, November 10-16, 2011
★★★☆☆
Dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson. 2011. R. 89mins. Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris.
Reefer madness! It’s been several years since hemp-toking best buds Harold Lee (Cho) and Kumar Patel (Penn) went to White Castle and escaped from Guantanamo Bay. Now they’re on the outs: Harold’s a respectable family man whose wife want a baby “fucked into me,” while ex-BFF Kumar is, well, still his Mary Jane–loving slacker self. Then, on Christmas Eve, a mysterious package reunites the duo. It contains the mother of all blunts, which, wouldn’t ya know, burns down the Christmas tree that Harold’s glowering father-in-law grew from a sapling.
The quest to save the holidays and Harold’s hide begins, though this is no family-friendly Peanuts special. A toddler gets high on cocaine, Santa Claus takes a bullet to the head and our heroes whip out their bald-headed yogurt slingers for some in-your-face exposure — one time in Claymation, another in a cringing homage to A Christmas Story. The film feels padded at 89 minutes, and a subplot involving a mad-hatter Ukrainian gangster really puts on the brakes. But there are several hilarious 3-D gags — how many ways can pot smoke waft out over the audience? — as well as the return of H&K MVP Neil Patrick Harris, who cockblocks none other than Jesus Christ. The former Doobie — sorry, Doogie — Howser even manages to make the line “Yeah, I’m gay. I’m gay for that pussy!” sound as if it were written in Shakespearean iambs. That’s a natural high.—Keith Uhlich
