Pandorum
keithuhlich.substack.com
★☆☆☆☆
Dir. Christian Alvert. 2009. R. 108mins. Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster, Cam Gigandet.
Intergalactic traveler Bower (Foster) wakes up in a dank, decrepit deep-space vessel with no memory of his mission or his past. He eventually goes exploring the ship, while an equally befuddled crewman, Payton (Quaid), keeps tabs on him from the bridge. It turns out there are some cannibalistic, barely humanoid underdwellers to deal with, as well as a form of space madness called pandorum. As the credit “Produced by Paul W.S. Anderson” attests, this is hackwork of the highest order, lacking in all poetry and barely comprehensible aurally or visually.—Keith Uhlich
